Grace and Glory

"Grace is but glory begun, and glory is but grace perfected." - Jonathan Edwards

Grace- noun: simple elegance or refinement of movement/courteous goodwill

verb: do honor or credit to someone or something by one's presence

Divine Grace- a theological term present in many religions. It has been defined as the divine influence which operates in humans to regenerate and sanctify to inspire virtuous impulses, and to impart strength to endure trial and resist temptation; and as an individual virtue or excellence of divine origin.

The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them. a virtue or excellence of divine origin: the Christian graces.

Glory- noun: high renown or honor won by notable achievements.

verb: magnificence or great beauty.

What do you LOVE about your life? I know, sometimes there's a moment where your mind goes blank when you try to think through the things you already have that you actually crave.

I love my self care. This was something, when I first started it, that I would grapple with. It was hard to understand. Becoming a single parent was a shock to my system. A majority of the time I was married, I was fortunate enough to be a stay at home mom. The year we separated my son was in preschool so I had just begun getting used to having a chunk of the day all to myself. This time was spent doing laundry, mowing, cleaning the toy room, & grocery shopping. Self care? Not so much.

After I had become single I was doing things to look pretty but I definitely was not doing them as self care. I was doing them because I didn't love myself. I was changing things about myself to appear pretty. I honestly wasn’t even sure what I was doing, more of an art project than a beauty routine. Not the self care I know today.

"Grace is the voice that calls us to change and then gives us the power to pull it off" - Max Lucado

After finding myself short tempered, overwhelmed and performing less than favorably I realized something had to change. No one was coming to save me or to put our lives together neatly. I had to do it. I wanted to have a great day every day. I wanted to show my kids a better parent more often.

To even get to the point of understanding what your self care looks like you have to get to know yourself. Doing things that other people enjoy might be just okay, so it is important to know what makes you feel your best.

I know after a long day at work I need to take some time to myself before we do dinner and I give myself over to my kids for the evening. I know there are different ways to help myself be the mom that makes me and my kids feel good. I know at the beginning of the day if I wake up early and give myself plenty of time to get ready I will perform better at work. I know if I want to wake up early ready for the day I have to keep a bedtime. I know if I let myself have good moments I stretch myself across all my duties easier and I do better.

"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yoga, Cardio, Weight Training, Walking - Movement! Whatever it is I know I perform better at everything when I make myself exercise. Yes, make myself. I have yet to make it 21 days in a row without skipping a workout. Heck, I don't think I have even made it 10 days straight. But I HAVE made it 4 weeks in a row with a workout. I have pushed myself to do something good for me multiple times in a week for a month straight. Of course, there are days I don't want to do it and on those days I listen to my body and take it light. The most important piece of self care is not to turn it into something else that stresses you out!!

Allow yourself some grace.

When I don't make the day the best day ever I have learned that treating myself like a failure won't help me show up the next day. I have to be my own best friend, encourage myself to keep at it and love myself when I don't hit my high expectations. Because that is self care to!

"The ideal [human] bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances." - Aristotle

(Sorry Not Sorry Aristotle, I had to edit your quote.)

Holding myself to a bedtime. I know part of the excitement of becoming an adult is that no one can tell you when to go to bed! You can stay up as late as you want watching your favorite show and eating gummy worms. Ugh, what a beautiful life. BUT I send myself to bed early. Ideally, I give myself some down time at 8:30 and be asleep by 9:45. I have a bedtime on my phone that switches my notifications to do not disturb. I have an alarm to remind me to go to bed. I know that I will be a better version of myself if I am fully rested.

Clean and Tidy! if my house is a mess, I am a mess. If the kitchen is dirty I am uncomfortable. If there are blankets and hoodies and shoes all over the place I can't relax. If my laundry isn't put away I cant concentrate. I perform best when my surroundings are neat and tidy. Minimal distractions equals maximum output. There's also days where we all cuddle up on the couch watching TV and avoid the kitchen, order delivery and veg out. It's balance. There will always be time to clean the kitchen but the kids are only yours for a little while.

Hydrate- its true. I know people aren't water drinkers and that's them. I am a water drinker. I carry a 24 oz Starbucks cup with me all day. I push to drink 4-5 of them a day. I also drink coffee regularly. I need to compensate for that with hydration. I notice my dark eye circles worsen when I do not drink enough water. I notice my body is achy and I notice my appetite is different. Sometimes I think I am hungry but my body is just signaling that it needs more water. Pay attention to the way you feel when you consume drinks and eat food. Your body let’s you know, don’t ignore it!

Hobbies- I love to cook and I love to write. I love to walk by the river and sit in the peace, away from people, with a clear mind watching the birds and the glitter from the sunbeams on the water. Find something you love and make time for it.

Mental Health. On top of making sure I have minimum to no contact with people who suck my energy from me I decided to take time off social media. I did this last year, taking a full 30 days off. I set it up as a personal challenge. I spent more time in the gym and was more focused on personal growth. I know it was a great move and it was just after a weekend in New Orleans. My soul was fed and I think it was perfectly timed.

This year I do it in shorter spurts. Just a day or a weekend. I obviously need social media to share my content. Now I try to focus on USING social media instead of CONSUMING it. Sometimes I get sucked in though. That's when I know I need a break. Taking time off improves my focus, frees up time to be more productive and I spend less time multitasking so I can be fully present.

For example, last night my kids and I enjoyed a fire on the patio without our phones and ate dinner without our phones. I like being able to be held to the same expectations of my kids instead of that old saying "do as I say not as I do" that I always heard growing up. Real personal connection will never be less fulfilling than online relationships. Change my mind.

I was also able to spend a couple of hours on myself Saturday morning journaling and reading about topics I am focusing on for my personal growth without distractions. Last week's blog was done while multitasking. I was receiving messages and notifications that pulled my attention away from my writing. I know in the future I will be more mindful of this and purposely carve out the time to write without engaging in distractions. Lessons are sometimes learned several times.

Self care is whatever you need to make yourself feel your best.

"There is no Glory in Practice, but without Practice there is no Glory"

If you need to spend a day purging your over-cluttered closet to make your morning easier - Do That!

If you need to clean your shower grout lines with a tooth brush with music blasting while you scream-sing along - Do That!

If you need to walk so your body and your mind feels better- Do That!

If you need to avoid the news to help control your anxiety- Do That!

If you need to talk to a therapis- Do That!

If you need to wear a clay face mask while your kid takes a bath- Do That!

If you need to unfollow your angry friend's rage posts on social media-Do That!

If you need a full body massage and double fudge ice cream with total silence - Do That!

Whatever your mind, body and soul craves to feel like you are winning at life, do that!

Start paying attention to that intuition that tells you what's missing or what's overwhelming. Stop putting your needs at the end of the list. That's how you burn out, friend.

Take care of yourself so you can take care of each other.

Xo Taryn